Just nod and smile, nod and smile...

So I just started a new job in the 2nd city, Montego Bay, which means I currently experience 1hr 30 mins (or 45 mins when i'm in a hurry =D) of road rage, each way. I'm sure you'll be hearing me rant n' rave about that until I give in and relocate *grimace* or purchase shares in Shell Petroleum!

Is it too early for me to start wondering how some people got the positions they're in on my first day? Well you be the judge:

Scenario #1 - In a planning meeting & the administrative assistant calls a supplier to follow up on an email she's been waiting on.

"Yes, ello Mr.X, dis is Mrs. Sy-im-itt calling from..." 

I look up from my notebook doodle and cast Mrs. SMITH a quizzical sideways glance.

Of course the supplier didn't think he heard her name correctly either and asked her to repeat  "Sy-im-itt, Mrs. Sy-im-itt! I spoke to you earlier about..." to which he responded "Oh Mrs. SMITH!" and she said "Dots whot I said Mr. X, Mrs.Sy-im-itt"

Scenario #2 -So Mrs. Sy-im-itt, who felt the need to tell me that she was also a teacher but left it because it doesn't pay (and the education system is saved!) started arguing a point in the same planning session "You ave to rent those equipments or else it's not going to be successful, I ave ten years of event planning and the equipments i'm talking about is very very important"

Voice in my head: "Errr...did she just pluralise equipment?"  Response: "Yup...it was a package deal with the poor enunciation" Other Voice: “You’re such a snob!” Other Voice: “It could have been worse, at least she does not emphasize her “H’s” Voices in Unison: “True Dat”

Oh wait, there's more. When her suggestion was ignored by the others, she turned to me and did that sharing bit again “I ave ten years of event planning! I know what I’m talking about! I used to be Vybz Kartel's booking agent!"

Voice in my head “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Don’t say a word! Just nod and smile, nod and smile damn it!”

*Sigh* I'm sure you'll be hearing more about the Mrs.

One Love ;)

The right thing to do is ALWAYS the hardest!

A male friend of mine said to me this morning “The right thing to do is ALWAYS the hardest”.

I told him he was right.

I know, I know, telling a man that he is right about something may cause irreversible cataclysmic events in some part of the universe; but once in a while they CAN and DO make sense, as much as we want to deny it!

So what is “the right thing” for me? The correct answer would be: To start running again.

It’s been 1 mth: 1 wk :3 dy since I last ran, which was when I competed my first ½ Marathon. So now my ‘rest week’ is much longer than I intended, does that qualify as Jamaican time?

I have a back injury which occurred in a bad car accident back in ’98. It reared its ugly head in Nov 2009 and I was finally given the green light by my orthopaedic surgeon to resume my fitness routine. Then I became a ‘focused’, ‘disciplined’ and ‘driven’ fitness junkie.
I had 2 goals:
1. Lose weight : I lost 30lbs and I’m at my perfect BMI (yay me!)
2. Run a ½ Marathon: Overall place: 311 out of 447
Division place: 47 out of 73/Gender place: 143 out of 239
Chip Time: 2:42:53/Pace: 12:26

Both goals achieved and then I did the “Now what?” and failed to answer that question for a month or so. =/

One thing I noticed about myself is when I don’t work out my mood changes, and all my insecurities tend to set in. The endorphins that are released during a work out are missing. Another thing about me: I have to have goals in order to get anything done. I guess that is the competitive spirit in me.

I have too many excuses in the mornings now: “it’s raining”, “it’s too dark”, “my big toe hurts because it's so cold”, “I have to stay hidden under the sheets so the one evil mosquito that is lurking in my room can’t get me”.

I’m going to start this afternoon.
No excuses. (Of course all kidding aside, it just started raining! But it’s early yet; I have an hour before I have to officially trash that idea for today.)

My fitness goals this year is to run the ½ Marathon in no longer than 2 hr 15 mins and to continue with my all over body toning aka get the toned bikini beach body!

Now I must go wipe off my Asics, charge my iPod and dig my heart monitor and pedometer out from the depths of my gym bag.

The great outdoors await, you coming?

One Love ;)

Crap where did the year go?

Errr.... Happy New Year 2010! =) I can't believe it's been more than a year since my last post! Shame! Shame! Shame! And to think so much has happened this year that would have made some entertaining reading, especially my training to enter my first marathon (1/2 marathon really but what's an extra 13 miles!) which was the Reggae Marathon in Negril.

But I'm back and I hope I can keep you entertained as we venture into 2011.
You should have a new post shortly.

One Love ;)

Ahh Sweet sweet country life!

On Saturday we threw a birthday lyme for my BFF Isabelle in Gallina, St. Mary. At a beautiful "Ochie Crew" hideout spot by the sea, inbetween Oracabessa & Port Maria.



The afternoon started out with our favourite party treat, sugar cane marinated in rum and/or vodka....can you say potent!

We hired a cook and he whipped up a gut pleasing corned pork, curry lobster, roast fish stuffed w/ callalloo along with the country staples: roast breadfruit, green banana and dumplings!


While waiting for the food to be prepared we were edumacated...yes edumacated.... with the theories from Marlon, the local guru on "everything". (The fellow pictured above in the red head tie) Marlon's theories are as follows:

1. Carrot, Irish potato, beans, rice & cassava were all created in labs and therefore are not fit for consumption.
Guru Marlon:"I don't eat dem tings"
Us: "Why?"
Guru Marlon:"Yu eva see carrot seed yet?"
Us: "No"
Guru Marlon: "See!"
Another resident guru:"Mi see carrot seed arreddi"
Guru Marlon: "Eh heh...a nuh righted carrot dat man"

2. Meat is what is wrong with mankind, we should only eat things from the sea, anything from the sea is good. Beef, pork and chicken dem tings should not be eaten.
Guru Marlon: "If you eat only the tings from the sea"
Another resident guru: "and bush....just di green bush nuh cook it down"
Guru Marlon: "Yes tings from di sea and green bush, you never have to excercise again. You will loose weight easy"
Us: "How so diarreah?"
Guru Marlon: " No di body will naturally loose weight and gain muscles. See my muscles? Mi neva lift weights yet a day inna mi life!"
Us: *Kiss Teet* "Right"
Guru Marlon: "No serious, just tings from the sea and green bush"
Another resident guru: "And mi herbs, mi herbs good fi everything. It fix anything yu ave. But mi soon finish build up mi compound and unoo can come visit and mi wi cure all a unoo wid mi herbs"

3. Milk should only be drunk by babies from their mother's breast.
Guru Marlon: "Milk is acid! It have cyanide inna it, man should not drink milk."
Us: "Why?"
Guru Marlon: "Yu eva si donkey drink from cow titty yet?"
Us: "Errr... No"
Guru Marlon: "Exactly!"
Us: "Huh?"
Guru Marlon: "Unoo drink milk?"
Us: "Yea"
Guru Marlon: "Unoo a cow den!"
Us: "A who dis rass man a call cow?"
Guru Marlon: "Doan tek offense but if donkey don't drink from cow why unoo mus drink from cow? unoo a cow?"
Us: *muttering from some peeps in the back* "How im jus a harp pon di donkey suh...mine yu know"

4. Him know everything there is to know about women, because women go off of nature.
Guru Marlon: "Woman mentral period work offa di moon"

Guru Marlon's class came to a premature end as the cook announced that "food ready".


Oh and remember all that "Beef, pork, chicken and dem tings must not be eaten" talk from Guru Marlon? Well many an eyebrow went up as he helped himself to the food, everything EXCEPT the fish....hmmmm
Us: "So how come yu a eat pork and carrot now? Nuh you jus done tell wi sey dem tings nuh fi eat? And whappen yu nah eat nuh fish?"
Guru Marlon: *Sly Grin* "Mi muma sey mi mus'n talk wid food inna mi mout" *stuffs big piece of dumpling with pork in his mouth*

It was a great day.

Ahhh! The beauty of our country and it's people...yes, even our demented local guru Marlon!

One Love;)

Country Living

Ok so yesterday morning I was late to work and of course when you're late there's nothing like a herd of goats in the middle of the road to evoke road rage :)

It actually made me smile, because the goat kids were sooooo cute! Besides....It's not like the work isn't gonna be there when I get there!

Sometimes we just need to stop and smell the flowers....err... goats!

One Love
CamiP;)

Office Space Emotion #1: I could set this building on fire

"I could set this building on fire" - Milton Waddams, Office Space

Wednesday - 11:45AM
Observe man climbing a ladder on the utility pole just outside my gate at home. He's up there tinkering around for a while.

Wednesday - 11:51AM
Cable goes out on t.v.
What the hell?!
Look outside no cable guy. Walk to gate. No cable guy. Walk around the corner...ah ha! Cable guy.

Me : "Boss man what did you just do to my cable?"
Him: "Mi neva do nuttin to yu cable, is one new line mi a install"
Me: "My cable just stop working"
Him: " Well mi neva do nuttin fi mek it nuh work"
Me: "Really? So what's with those 3 wires hanging from the utility pole now?"
Him: "dat nuh ave nutting fi do wid your yaad. Call Flow an tell dem sey yu cable stop work"
Me: "Aren't you the Flow person that made my cable stop working? Can't you just fix it?"
Him: "Mi sey mi neva do nuttin"

I walk back home, *mumble mumble bad word mumble*

Wednesday 12:10PM
"Thank you for calling Flow customer care centre!"
Press 2 for residential and sit on hold for eternity.

Jessica answers. She apologizes for any inconvenience caused. She has logged and flagged the message as urgent. Nice young lady.

Ok no cable...suddenly I feel well enough to go to work "It's a miracle!"

Wednesday 4:50PM
"Thank you for calling Flow customer care centre!"
Press 2 for residential and sit on hold for eternity.

Kimika answers. They're updating their systems can I call back in 10 minutes? WTF?


Wednesday 5:00PM
"Thank you for calling Flow customer care centre!"
Press 2 for residential and sit on hold for eternity.

Marlon answers. Listens to my plight and gives me the standard issue apology...suddenly Jessica does not seem so sweet anymore,,,she standard issued me!
Marlon puts me on hold to speak to a supervisor...it wouldn't be bad waiting for them if they would just pay some decent hold music...damn elevator chamber music.

Marlon comes back and gives me the standard issue apology for putting me on hold for so long..yah yah get to the point. Well the area supervisor is aware of the problem and it's being expedited.

Well alright! My man Marlon! Thank you I will have a nice evening.


Wednesday 10:00PM
Still no cable. I'm reading. Yes I read. This week's book is entitled 'Florida Road Kill'

Thursday 8:00AM, 10:00AM, 2:45PM, 7:42PM
"Thank you for calling Flow customer care centre!"
Press 2 for residential and sit on hold for eternity.

Standard issue apology...not falling for that again! My account has been red flagged, area supervisor is aware yadda yadda yadda bull shit.

Nadesha “Ok ma’am i’ve been advised by the area supervisor that they were unable to fix the problem due to rains in the area.”

Me “What rain? It drizzled for 15mins at 8:30AM and has been sunny all day”

Nadesha “Well maybe it was raining where they were, but he says tomorrow”

Me “I’m going to find out who he is and where he lives”

Nadesha *Nervous Giggle*

I could set their corporate office on fire.

Friday 9:08AM
Observe man on ladder out on pole.

Me “ Are you with Flow?”

Him “Yes I am”

Me “Were you the one out here on Wednesday?”

Him “Nooo not me, it must have been Cable & Wireless that did this”

Me: "Wearing a Flow shirt and driving a Flow van?"

Him: "No man yu neva see right"

Right.

I have cable yaaay!

One Love ;)

Jamaica in the news once more...and it ain't good

Top 5 Most Dangerous Countries in the World
A compilation of the most dangerous countries on our planet, classified by most murders in reference to population. A wake up call to those who think "New York City" is dangerous and a demonstration of what really goes on everywhere in the world while we sleep.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/159175/top_5_most_dangerous_countries_in_the.html